By Pastor John-Mark
Have you ever found yourself wanting to pray but just not knowing how?
You start to pray, “Dear God… would you help me deal with (fill in the blank)… I need your help… amen.”
And you feel like you just don’t know what to say more than that?
Or your friend is going through a MAJOR crisis, and as they tell you about it, your chest starts pounding… You know you should do something, anything to help, and maybe prayer could be an option, but you just let the moment pass by, feeling like you should have stepped up and prayed for them.
If you’ve ever been in either of those situations, you are not alone. I have been and still sometimes find myself in these moments!
Before we continue to our “how to” list, I’m sure some different situations are coming to mind for you right now where you feel like you’ve missed the mark. Don’t allow shame to creep in right now. That says you are a failure, you’ll never be a good friend, you’ll never be able to pray for people, or that people’s situations are worse because you didn’t know how to pray for them…
Those are lies! The enemy likes to make us feel bad for things we’ve done, and when shame creeps in, it often pulls us away from God because we feel unworthy or undeserving of his love. But I want you to hear today that God loves you unconditionally (Romans 5:8), that He has better things in store for your life, and that if you’ve missed the mark in the past, today is a new day to walk in obedience.
With that, let’s talk about three quick ideas for helping us feel more equipped to pray for our own needs and the needs of the people around us.
Remove the pressure to sound perfect
God cares more about your heart than your outward appearance. Remove that pressure—Prayer is how we communicate with God. He just wants your attention, so give it to him without fear of it being “wrong”.
Matthew 6:7-8 says:
“7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
Jesus tells us right here that he already knows your needs before you ask. You don’t need to add words or make it sound perfect. You just need to humbly bring your needs to God and be honest with him and with the words you use.
Practice
It’s hard to get better at something we never practice. In the same way, it’s hard to learn how to pray, either on your own or out loud with people, if you never practice.
Jesus tells us how to pray in Matthew 6:9-13:
“This, then, is how you should pray:
“ ‘Our Father in heaven, holy is your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread.12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
Begin by praying this prayer, then begin to add to each section of the prayer your own words. For example:
“Our Father in heaven, holy is your name”… Then remind yourself who God is… “You are worthy of my praise and attention, there is no one like You, You are the God above all other gods, You are compassionate, Mighty…” This is a good way to build our faith and remind ourselves of the power of the God we serve, who CAN impact the situations we bring to Him!
(You can do that for each section of the prayer. Check the weekly challenge at the end for a helpful guide!)
The more you practice prayer, the more you will grow in confidence and the more you will spend time with the creator of the universe – what an incredible gift we have access to!
Ask God for Boldness and Courage
“11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:11
God wants to equip you with good gifts, and He encourages us to ask Him for these gifts! We can hold on to the truth of scripture, that He goes before us and that we can be strong and courageous because He is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9).
Make it a daily habit to pray quick prayers; they can sound like this, “God, would you give me the boldness to walk confidently in my faith today,” or “God, help me to have your eyes, to see the needs around me, and the courage to help meet those needs”.
RECAP
- Remove the pressure to sound perfect.
- Develop a pattern of prayer so that you’re not just praying when you “need” to, but out of a real desire to deepen your relationship with God.
- Never stop asking God to equip you with boldness and courage.
The truth is, you won’t always have the words to say. And maybe that’s a sign it’s time to stop talking and begin listening. If this really is a two-way relationship between God and us, shouldn’t we give him space in our lives to talk back to us?
If you had a friend who never let you talk, I don’t think you’d consider them a great friend. Consider taking time to just listen to God speak, have a notebook ready, and when you feel something come to your mind, maybe a name of a friend or a specific situation, begin to pray for those things and ask God to give you wisdom to partner with Him.
Ultimately, God is in control. We can put our hope in that truth! So trust that He is, and invite him into your moments each day to lead you in the right direction.
You got this.
Reflection Questions
- What usually makes prayer feel difficult for you?
- Do you ever feel pressure to sound “spiritual” when you pray?
- Which part of the Lord’s Prayer stands out to you the most right now?
- Think about someone in your life who is struggling right now. How could prayer be one way you support them?
- If prayer really is a conversation with God, when could you create space this week to listen to Him?
Weekly Challenge
The 5-Minute Prayer Challenge
This week, set aside 5 minutes each day to practice prayer.
Use the pattern Jesus gave in the Lord’s Prayer as your guide:
- Praise – Tell God who He is and thank Him for something in your life.
- Surrender – Ask God to guide your decisions and help you follow His will.
- Needs – Bring your worries, struggles, and requests to Him.
- Forgiveness – Ask God to forgive you and help you forgive others.
- Strength – Ask Him for courage and wisdom for the day ahead.
Bonus challenge: If the opportunity comes up this week, pray for someone else out loud — even if it’s short and simple.
And please remember, Prayer doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be honest!
